Hey, Amy here.
When difficult things happen, I do my best to find the good, or the gift, or the lesson in the situation.
This is a practice that I've had for 37 years, since I lost my mom in a car accident.
When that happened, I blamed myself (she died in my car) and I didn't want to go on living.
I did crazy things like walking down the middle of the road hoping I'd get hit by a car.
I knew I had to find a way to keep going... and I knew I had to find a way to believe that everything happens for a reason, or for the greater good, or for some unknown purpose. I had to find a way to get out of victim mode.
I couldn't make sense of my mom's death at the time... but as the
years went by, I found a reason that made sense to me as to why she had been removed from my life.
I realized that my dad (who I despised before my mother died- and I'm pretty sure he felt the same about me) had become my best friend, and my biggest teacher and mentor. And I knew that if my mom had still been on this earth, that probably never would have
happened.
We were forced into each others lives... after ignoring and avoiding each other for years... and we had to depend on each other.
I was forced to turn to my dad for things I would have preferred to turn to my mom for, like the conversation about going on birth control when I was in college and so
many other things.
We became as close as two people could possibly be... and I started to believe that maybe there really is some sort of divine intervention, that maybe things really do happen for a reason.
And, since
then, I've tried my best to live by this belief.
It's definitely not always easy to do.
When things feel really hard, sometimes it doesn't feel like there's a reason or a purpose.
Sometimes it even feels like a punishment... and I can't make sense of anything.
But what eventually helps me is when I look for the good in the situation.
And, when I do this, I always seem to be
able to find something good.
One thing that I've found helpful is rather than ask,
"Why is this happening to me?" or
"Why did this happen?" or
"Why are
things this way?"...
I can ask instead ask instead,
"What is this here to teach me?" or
"What can I learn from this?" or
"What is the gift in this?" or
"What is this saving me from?"
And then I always go straight to gratitude. There's always something to be grateful for.
